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As a young Christian just at the beginning of my journey with God, I was convinced that the Bible had all of the answers, that I would never have to question my decisions or actions, so long as they were moral in the eyes of the Lord. Looking back, however, I realize how naïve I was. Of course, a book of around 780000 words couldn’t possibly cover every question I had, but that doesn’t mean the answers aren’t there somewhere within the scripture. Through my teens, my moral dilemmas often had a similar theme: should I tell that white lie to spare the feelings of my friend? Once in history class, I was made to question whether or not I would deny Christ if my life depended on it. That was, by nature, a bit trickier and thankfully not something I’ve ever had to consider in reality.
Now, as an adult, new moral and ethical situations aren’t something I’m faced with daily; I’m more confident in my ability to judge a situation in a Christian way and do what is right by God. I’m thankful for my strong religious grounding as it allows me to be sure I’m doing the right thing most of the time. That was until I became ill with anorexia nervosa and considered using CBD oil as a Christian.
I found it hard to get my head around the fact that I, a 30-something-year-old woman, was battling a disease that I had considered to be an adolescent illness. I had always been happy with my appearance and had never had a desire or need to lose weight, so this sudden downfall in my mental health hit me hard. It all started because I had been through a pretty stressful time: I had a change in job, a house move and the death of my cat all in the space of a month.
Due to being extremely busy and stressed, I lost weight unintentionally. It was just a few pounds at first, but it soon mounted up to more than a stone. I’d never been particularly skinny; I was always a healthy build and even my new weight didn’t put me into the underweight category. Nevertheless, my problems began at this point.
I remember how I felt when an ex-colleague, whom I hadn’t seen for a month, complimented me on my appearance and my recent weight loss. It made me happy. My friends and family also gave lashings of praise. There were comments about how much my new job and lifestyle suited me and that I looked younger and better than I had in years. I didn’t know it then, but these comments fuelled my desire for more. Thus, I began my sudden decline into unhealthy eating and exercise behaviors that led to an anorexia diagnosis six months down the line.
The good thing about being diagnosed as an adult was that I felt sure I could beat it. From the day I was diagnosed and had a ‘name’ for what was wrong with me, I convinced myself I needed to heal and that, with God on my side, I could beat this crippling condition.
I wanted and accepted all of the help I could get. I didn’t want to join existing support groups as I was sure that they would be full of teens and that didn’t appeal. I did, however, agree to join an online support group where I could discuss my recovery with likeminded people. That’s when I first came upon the idea of using CBD oil. Many people in my situation swore it had helped them, so I began to do my own research despite my misgivings of using CBD as a Christian.
Through my research, I discovered that when an eating disorder takes hold, there are physical changes in the body’s endocannabinoid system. This is the system responsible for regulating appetite amongst many other things. Research suggests that people suffering from anorexia have a weakened endocannabinoid system.
The consumption of CBD oil can, therefore, counteract this deficiency and improve the sufferer’s symptoms. I was desperate and willing to try anything. However, there was another stumbling block in the road: God. I questioned what He would think of me even considering using CBD as a Christian.
When faced with moral dilemmas, the Bible often gives us clear direction in the form of commandments. In this case, I couldn’t find anything that seemed to fit with my wanting to try CBD oil. I searched the internet furiously with terms like “using CBD as a Christian” and “is it immoral to use CBD as a Christian?”.
It could be said that my ethical problem with CBD oil was due to the fact that I had only ever heard negative things about cannabis as a drug. After all, it was addictive and affected users physically and mentally. Let’s not mention the problems in society that arise from its illegal production, transportation and distribution. Using CBD as a Christian seemed to go against every thought I’d ever had regarding cannabis.
Yet, my reading led me to consider how cannabis, a plant like any other, was not mistakenly put on this planet. Like everything, I believe that cannabis, like daffodils, ferns and oak trees, was created by God. How, therefore, could it be such a bad thing? Unfortunately, the negative usage of this plant has taken over and almost written over the benefits of cannabis for medical use.
People forget that until the recent drugs misuse crisis (and we’re talking here about the last century), cannabis was used medicinally with very positive effects. It is only in more recent times that people are getting back on board with cannabis or, more specifically, CBD oil, being used as a medicine. This convinced me to give it a go. I truly believe that God has given us everything we need to help us survive on this planet and boy did I need all the help I could get.
It’s been two long years since my diagnosis and, whilst I still have difficult moments and struggles, I am back to a healthy weight and have a much healthier mind. I would never say I am ‘cured’; I can see this as something I will continue to battle with for the rest of my adult life. However, I know my triggers and I have support in place should I start falling back down that slippery slope.
My experience with CBD oil? It was certainly positive. Can I truly say it was the deciding factor in my recovery? No. It did, however, have a huge part to play alongside all of the other therapies I was receiving. Though my other therapies have stopped, I still use the CBD oil. For me, it has no negative effects and as long as I feel it keeps the anorexia at bay, I will continue to use it.
As for God? I’m sure that He has helped me get where I am today. I am happy with my decision to use CBD as a Christian and I pray that others aren’t afraid to use this wonderful, natural product that He put on this earth.
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